キルンに集結する
[toggle]Converging at the Kilns[/toggle]昨年夏、Ｃ・Ｓ・ルイス財団主催の会議で訪れたオックスフォードでの最初の夜、１９３０年から６３年までＣ・Ｓ・ルイスの住まいがあったキルンへの忘れられないツアーに参加することができた。引率してくれたキム・ジルネットは、１９９０年に始まったルイスの家の修繕に携わっていた。
[toggle]On my first night in Oxford last summer, where I was attending a conference hosted by the C. S. Lewis Foundation, I received a memorable tour of the Kilns, C. S. Lewis’s home from 1930 to 1963. Though I had lived in the home as a scholar-in-residence several years earlier, leading tours for hundreds of guests from around the world during that season, this was my first time receiving a tour from Kim Gilnett. A long-time partner of the C. S. Lewis Foundation, Kim had been involved with the home’s restoration since that work began in the 1990s. [/toggle]
部屋から部屋へと渡り歩きつつキムは、ルイスが生きていた当時の状態に修復する仕事について語った。この愛のこもった仕事は１０年がかりだった。キッチンに入ると、キムは床のタイルに注意を向けさせた。これはルイスの死後、アスファルトで覆われていたという。
[toggle]Walking from room to room with a half-dozen guests, Kim told us stories of the yard work and interior work done by summertime volunteers from the States, restoring the home to look as it had during Lewis’s time. This labor of love took about a decade. Entering the kitchen, Kim invited us to notice the Headington Quarry tile floor, which had been covered over by a layer of asphalt by the homeowners following Lewis’s death. They topped it off with green linoleum flooring. [/toggle]アルファルトとリノリウムの層を取り除く慎重な作業は入念に手作業で行われ、下層にあった元のタイルの床に戻すことができた。
[toggle]The slow, careful work of removing the layers of asphalt and linoleum was painstakingly carried out by hand, he told us, preserving the original tile underneath. [/toggle]２年前、キルンでキムと会う予定だったが、私がイギリスに到着する直前、キムの妻が突然体調を崩し、その週末亡くなった。
[toggle]Two years earlier, I had hoped to meet Kim at the Kilns during our overlapping stays. Just before I landed in the UK, however, Kim received news of his wife’s sudden and unexpected health decline. He flew home immediately to be with her. By the end of the week, she had passed. [/toggle]「この仕事を始めた多くの人々は、その完成を見ることはなかった」とキムは私たちに語り、立ち止まって床のタイルを見つめていた。
[toggle] “Many of those who began this work never got to see its completion,” Kim told us, pausing now, still staring at the tile floor. [/toggle]その瞬間、そしてその時から何度も、私はこの話について考え、神が据えた基礎に私が降りていき、私が私になるために時間を割いてくれた多くの人々に感謝するようになった。私は、神の呼びかけを追求すべくイギリスに行くと決めた時の祖父の最初の反応を思い出す。「長年にわたって聞いてきた中で最悪のニュースだ」。しかし、やがて祖父は私の最大の支援者となってくれた。
友人のデイヴィッドの確信のおかげで、私は閉じられたドアに囲まれて観念したくなった時でも、言葉を紡（つむ）ぎ続けることができた。神への粘り強い信仰を持つ妻のおかげで、前進の見込みがなくても、幾度となく望みをつなぐことができた。彼らのビジョン、確信、あらゆる方法による投資がなければ、神からの賜物もはっきりしなかったろうし、彼らと共に生きていくこともできなかっただろう。祖父に関して言えば、彼の投資が実るのを見届けてほしいと私は思う。いつの日にか、どうにかと。
[toggle]In that moment, and many times since, I have thought of this story and given thanks for so many who have taken the time to help me get down to my own God-given foundation, without whom I would not be who I am today. I think of my grandfather whose initial response to our decision to move to England in pursuit of God’s call (leaving behind work, home, and family) was to say, “That’s the worst news I’ve heard in a long time,” but who would eventually become our biggest supporter. I think of my friend David whose confidence in my writing enabled me to continue stringing words together when, with so many closed doors, I felt like giving up. I think of my wife, whose persistent faith in a God who provides when I see no way forward has buoyed me countless times. Without their vision, confidence, and investment in every way, I would not have clarity on my God-given gifts nor the courage to live into them. When it comes to my grandfather, I often wish he were still here to see the fruits of his investment. Somehow, someday, I hope he will. [/toggle]死後も長らく多くの人に霊感を与え続ける著述家のキッチンの床を見つめるあの記憶は、私たちの前に来た人々から私たちが深く恩恵を受けていることを思い起こさせてくれる。そして、私たちの後に来る人々は、今は想像もできない仕方で、私たちが神の呼びかけに応えることによって形成される。ルイスはかつて友人のオーウェン・バーフィールドに、「自分が死んで５年後にはもう誰も自分の本を読む人はいなくなるだろう」と述べた。
[toggle]This memory of pausing to stare at the tile floor in the former kitchen of a man whose writing continues to inspire so many long after his death has been a helpful reminder that we are deeply indebted to those who came before us. And those who come after us will, in ways we cannot now imagine, be shaped by our own response to God’s call. Reflecting on the legacy of his work, Lewis once remarked to his friend Owen Barfield that five years after he had passed, no one would be reading his writing. [/toggle]神の呼びかけは、私たちの前に来た偉大な証人の群れ、私たちを取り囲む人々、私たちの後に来る人々との関係として現れる。過去と未来とのつながりとして自らを見るとき、感謝は、神の私たちへの呼びかけを聞く手段となるのだ。
[toggle]God’s call comes to us in relations with the great cloud of witnesses who came before us, who surround us now, and who will come after us. Seeing ourselves as a link in this backward- and forward-facing chain of relations, gratitude is a means of hearing our relational God’s call. [/toggle]執筆：ライアン・ペンバートン
本記事は「クリスチャニティー・トゥデイ」（米国）より翻訳、転載しました。翻訳にあたって、多少の省略をしています。
